English translation by Radhanath Das.
The seed imprinted by maya stays birth after birth. It does not go away. However god does not want to cause pain or suffering but if the sadhaka gets even a slight bit of happiness, they get affected /infatuated (mohit) by that. They get a taste of that happiness and sleep very peacefully. They do bhajan but the thing stuck in the heart does not go away. At the time of doing bhajan they think “we are getting the grace of thakurji” but that desire for bhagavad-prapti (attaining Bhagavan) and that anasakti (detachment or disgust) for this world, this bodily identity, transmigatory existence (samsara) , the cycle of birth and death, the pain and sadness etc … it does not come. That seed (of attraction for maya) does not go. Bhagavan says “first of all I make my bhaktas unhappy, unhappy, unhappy, unhappy in all respects and then when there is no other way out for them they become surrendered unto me. I take out that seed of desire (vasana).
Ram das kathiya baba was a very big saint of Vrindavan. He was very well respected. One old saint used to live with him. He was of a great age. All were looking that so many great saints were living and were serving him. And he was living very comfortably. Everything was acquired on time. And if ill, doctors would come and assess. So he was doing bhajan without worry, in great bliss. He was thinking “now I will just wait for death, I am living pain-free. I have reached a good state”.
So one day Ramdas kathiya baba came and shouted at him. “Hey! You are just eating and eating all day. You don’t do any work..no seva. Just eating all day. Get out from here. Get out from here immediately.” The other saints in the ashram were all thinking “What’s going on? We have no scarcity of food, of facility here, but still Gurudev (Ramdas kathiya baba) is still behaving like this with an old (vriddh) sadhu and has kicked him out of the ashram?” Their hearts felt despondent. They felt this was not right. Those sadhus slowly walked away sobbing at the thought of all this.
Later that night, one sadhu came to Gurudev (Ramdas kathiya baba) and said, “has our ashram become so poor that we don’t have two rotis (chapattis) to give, no place to stay that you kicked that old sadhu out? I don’t understand why you did this or what you wish to achieve? Gurudev became sad and said “Listen, he had become free of worry here. He had forgotten the meaning of life, that we have to leave this world and go to Bhagavan, he had forgotten that. Very soon that old sadhu will become sad. Very sad. And then internally he will become exclusively surrendered to Bhagavan. That seed of material desire within him will be destroyed and he will attain nearness to Bhagavan, Bhagavan’s association very quickly. I feel pain too, but what can I do? I had to behave like this for his welfare.”
It is very difficult to understand how great souls (mahapurushas) do things for our welfare. If a sadhaka is becoming too comfortable, is getting respect, fame, friends, opulence, then this isn’t a good sign for a sadhaka. Then Maya has captured us.
Our Narottama das thakura, he had just came from Kheturi-village (in Bengal) and he was completely surrendered and detached. He was thinking “I’ll go to Vrindavan. Mahaprabhu has left this world. I will meet his associates”. Wherever he went he had problems, it was not an easy route from Bengal to Vrindavan, wherever he went he had problems.
In Vrindavan there are Rupa and Sanatan, I will meet Rupa Goswami and attain his grace and my heart will attain happiness and peace. When he went to Vrindavan, Rupa Goswami had left his physical body. Then he thought let me meet Sanatan goswami, but when he went to seek the shelter of Sanantan Goswami, he discovered Sanatana Goswami too had left his body. He felt such unhappiness, he felt like jumping off Mount Govardhan, what a life? Such a tragedy not to meet Rupa or Sanatan…I have not received the grace of a sat-guru. How can I attain peace, where will I go now?
Lokanath Goswami Maharaj was also in Vrindavan at that time. He went to take shelter from him. To gain his grace and to take mantra diksha from him. Lokanath Goswami said “that I don’t give diksha, not to any devotee”. Without diksha his life could not be full or perfect. Narottama thought “without diksha my life will be ruined. Everyone must take diksha from a sat guru, yet baba says he will not give me diksha. This causes my life even more grief. Now it’s really just best if I die.” But still he tries once more.
He decided to stay near baba and serve him, clean his bed, give him a blanket during the night when he is sleeping etc. When Lokanath Goswami went to the jungle to urinate he would see such a clean place, everything was neatened up. He thought “This is a place for toilet, how did it become so clean?” He thought “nobody is living in this jungle so how does it get so clean everyday?”. In those days Vrindavan was a complete jungle. A wild jungle up to the Yamuna , to Mathura and so forth. Jungle, just jungle. A deep wild jungle. This is how people used to do bhajan in those days.
One day he thought “who is doing all of this?” he waited nearby and saw Narottam das thakur cleaning everything with his hand. Then his heart melted with compassion, “Narottama has such a mood of service (seva-bhava)!”
Narottama das thakur got his kripa. He got his kripa with great difficulty. With great difficulty he got diksha from his Gurudev and began bhajan. He got such high experiences (anubhavas) in his bhajan, that he had glimpses of Divine Vrindavan. He would see Divine Vrindavan in his eyes…the land made of jewels. All this was beginning to manifest before him. Just in a few days he got these experiences.
Not like nowadays. We are proudly eating, drinking, sleeping without any worries and doing a few malas (rounds) and we want to attain that high state of realisation. We didn’t suffer anything. Didn’t do any seva of any maha-purush (great souls). And where do we want to attain? That high state? And truly speaking, we don’t even really have such a great desire for that high state! If we did, could we remain worry free in this world? Time is ticking and we are just relaxing worry free. Thinking “we are fine”. “We are getting nice food and other objects of enjoyment. Getting respect etc.” And we think “we are great bhajananandis.” There is no limit to our misfortune when we think like this. Externally it looks as though we’re doing bhajan nicely. But there are so many shortcomings inside. We have to get rid of these. Being worry free in this manner is such a big problem for us.
One day Lokanath Goswami said Narottam – “bring me some mud, some dirt”. So Narottama got his basket and went to collect some mud, but all he could see is Divine Vrindavan, divine forests and the land made of incomparable jewels. He could not see any mud, he went all the way to Agra to find some mud, it took him one day to go there and one day to return, two whole days in total. Loknath Goswami said Narottam where did you go for such a long time?
He replied “Gurudev, you said to bring a little bit of mud and all I could not see any here. In Vrindavan there is no mud!”
Lokanath Goswami realised and smiled and said “go to Bengal and preach. Meet Srinivas Acharya Prabhu and Ramachandra Kaviraj. Go to Manipur and preach!”
Following his guru’s orders, Narottam went to Manipur to preach bhakti-dharma…bhagavat-dharma. Narottama das thakur has so many songs wherein he prays for residence in Vrindavan, but even then he did not get residence in Vrindavan,he ended up in Manipur instead.
So this sadhana (spiritual practice) this is very difficult without the grace of guru. This drinking and eating and comfort, “do what you like attitude”, no difficulties etc, not being prepared to tolerate any suffering, no desire or enthusiasm to do any intense bhajan, no anxiety to attain Bhagavan, this is the sad situation of sadhakas these days. How will it be possible?
In Narottama das’ songs he says “There is no one as fallen as me in all the three worlds”. And things like “May the holy name purify me”. He reached such a state and then he left this world in a young age. His disciples came to do his last rites. Some others started criticising and saying that “because Narottama was from a low caste (Kayashta) and he was giving diksha to Brahmins, then that’s why he suffered such a plight. That’s why he died at such a young age”. Before it was very difficult to give diksha. You couldn’t just give diksha however you liked. You had to be a Brahmin. From some Acharya’s family lineage. This was how the society used to believe. Now it is so easy. Anyone qualified or unqualified can give diksha. Even someone like me (Vinod Bihari Baba saying about himself out of humility) becomes Guru.
One of his disciples Hari Narayan Chakravarti started crying uncontrollably. “O Gurudev! The people are putting this stain on your glory, that you left this world at a young age because you gave diksha to Brahmins but are yourself from a lower caste. How can we remove this stain from your glory and silence them? Please help us Baba”. So then Narrotama das thakur sat up! And he said “who said I’m not a Brahmin? Call everyone together. Let me show you”. So he pulled a golden-brahmin-thread (janeu) from his chest and showed them. All the people of Manipur were astonished and became surrendered to him. Even now there are many followers of Narrotama das thakur in Manipur. Narrotama das thakur said “I want to leave my body soon. Find a good date in the calendar. And I don’t want anyone crying. Just bathe my body in the River Ganges (Ganga) nicely and do all your ceremonies you wish to. He left his body and when they took his body to the River Ganges. His body turned to milk and mixed with the Ganges during this time. See, such a great sadhu he was and we think we are sadhus? He was singing, “I am so fallen (patita) but we think we are sadhus, feeling fallen is such a far off thing for us. We look at others and judge them, “this person is just a householder (grihasta), this person like this or that.”
Jay Radharani.
Vinod Bihari Das Babaji